Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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