the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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