My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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