Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
