hotel room ftw
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
