Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
