he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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