Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
