Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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