Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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