I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
