I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
