im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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