She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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