The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
