So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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