Buhtt sex?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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