you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Come see our sink grown plant.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
