is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
