just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
