ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
