Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
kristin has been a bad kristin
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
