Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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