Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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