never play flip cup with pint glasses
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
