I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
