Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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