did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize