i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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