Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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