Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
