A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I skipped work to stalk him.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
