You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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