It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
