my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
