Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My vagina is officially offended.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
