She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize