If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize