i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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