i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
