what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
