worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i drank out of a bidet.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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