What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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