ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
