dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
