why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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