the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
