Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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