Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize