what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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