so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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