I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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