is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
