I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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