the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
