What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
