Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
