and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
