Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
