i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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