so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
