why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
