i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
How's work?
Spinning.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
