I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My breasts were aching with rage.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
