she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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