The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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