Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
