I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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