It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
